I spend a lot of time talking to other sufferers of Crohn’s Disease
on social networking and beyond. The main feeling I generally get is that there
are generally two types of ‘sufferers’. These people tend to be absolute polar
opposites. Bowels apart you might say. Allow me to explain...
There are The Professional Patients’ as I like to call them;
those sufferers for whom the word ‘patient’ doesn’t really apply. Those who
seemingly take delight in relaying their tales of woe at any available
opportunity. I find this type of person tends to consider themselves as a
‘victim’. They have a fairly sickening ‘woe is me’ attitude, and love nothing
more than having attention (and sympathy) lavished upon them. These people are
a massive irritation to me. Don’t get me wrong, Crohn’s Disease is incredibly
difficult to live with, but it’s far from an instant death sentence. The key is
in learning to live with it; not allowing it to take over your life. These
constant complainers take great pleasure in relaying how miserable and
difficult their existence is, seemingly temporarily forgetting they are not the
only people on the planet who have ever been sick. They are fans of relaying
every gruesome detail of their illness across social networking, amongst family
and friends (and stranger’s if they get the chance). They are usually Doc-Botherers’
too; never away from their doctors surgery or hospital with every minute symptom.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with
being a little cautious and vigilant over the state of your health, especially
with a chronic illness, however there is a fine line between extra concern, and
hypochondria. One of my least favourite qualities in a human is selfishness and
these patients tend to epitomise this quality. They want those around them to remember
at all times that they are suffering
and everyone around them should therefore act accordingly.
Now the other variety of sufferer I refer to is one I can
really get on board with. These patients are in vast contrast to those just
mentioned. They obviously feel the same pain and endure the same symptoms; however
the main difference here is that they don’t play on any of it for attention. They
simply deal with their condition as respectfully and gracefully (as you can
with a bowel disease). They loathe attention being lavished on them due to
Crohn’s, and aim to live the best life they can despite their illness. These sufferers tend to find they sometimes need a little extra attention or perhaps
just consideration, mainly because they often don’t actively seek it out for
themselves. Occasionally these sufferers often conceal more than they perhaps
should. They don’t want others to view them in a certain way, and those
feelings can sometimes lead to irritation and anxiety over the possibility of losing
control over certain aspects of their life. They want their lives to be as ‘normal’
as possible, and sometimes end up pushing themselves to the limit, physically
and mentally, in order to achieve this. These
patients also find themselves sharing their story more than they perhaps
should. They take on others issues and try to help as best they can, which can
often serve to increase their own stress levels.
These differences in patients become more and more apparent
the longer that Crohn’s is a part of a sufferer’s day to day life. I’d like to
think I’m somewhere in the middle of both of those, although I fear I’m probably
not that unique. I probably go through most of these aforementioned personality
traits about 50 times a day. It all depends on your outlook. If you want to
become a ‘patient’ rather than a person that’s entirely your choice, however it
may lead to boredom, depression and others withdrawing from you. No one wants
to hear about your bowel habits 24 hours a day – I certainly don’t want to
think about my own, let alone force the rest of the world to share those
intimate details too.
I agree completely!
ReplyDeleteI see where you're coming from Kathleen.However, should it not be a case of each to their own. Everybody deals with pain and illness in different ways. Personally, as a person suffering a chronic illness for the last 30 years, I tend to land firmly into both categories as I feel best to deal with it at the time. "Try Praying" gets a lot of people through. That said, your blogs as excellent and help me understand my Crohnie wife :) . Good luck with the book. Jim.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely more of the latter but I don't share my story nearly as much as I probably should. I just want to get on with my life without Crohns interfering with it.
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