Saturday, 15 December 2012

It'll be Crohnly This Christmas

Itll be Crohnly this Christmas

Depending on your religious persuasion, Christmas can mean many things to many people. Religion aside, for most people, regardless of your faith, (or lack of), it's traditionally a time of over-indulgence. A phrase that in itself can strike gut-wrenching fear into the heart of any Crohnie.
Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. I love getting to spend time with my loved ones and fighting with family i haven't seen for 12months. I adore exchanging gifts that we've bought one another because we care and because the adverts say we have to. I love decorating the house and getting into debt along the way. Joyous.
No, I joke (sort of). I do enjoy Christmas. I always have.
However now my feelings towards this time of year are a strange mixture of excitement and nerves. As ridiculous as it may sound I also feel a vague sense of loss. At how much I used to enjoy the aspect of over-eating and drinking.
With Crohn's your body has an annoying way of telling you in no uncertain terms when you have HAD ENOUGH PUT THE CHIPOLATA DOWN. A phrase heard painfully often in my life.
Some would think this is a useful tool for ones body to have, a sort of early warning system that gently reminds us to cease eating for fear of feeling like a sumo wrester later. Only it's not a 'gentle' reminder. It's agonising cramps in the stomach, sickness, sweats and shivers, rushing to the toilet and feeling faint. Celebrate good times c'mon!
The first Christmas after my diagnosis I was on a liquid diet. And I don't mean I was being all Scottish about it and knocking back the sherry from 8a.m.
Unless you have been through this you have no idea how difficult it is. A diet of only milkshakes that aren't even milk in the most vile flavours imaginable. My personal favourite was Rotting Corpse, (although they lied and wrote 'Forest Fruits' on the label).
Surrounded by a massive table of food and drink I had to suck on Rotting Corpse from a wee straw. This made not only me miserable, but my whole family uncomfortable and sorry for me. I think at one point there was even an offer of introducing some turkey to the liquidiser. I politely declined.
Thankfully this Christmas will be much better. I'll be able to eat (in moderation) and drink (in even more moderation). I will attempt to pace myself, and maybe only have one selection box for breakfast instead of two. Only 3 baileys before dinner instead of 12 and just have a wee sniff of the trifle.
I'm dreaming of a pain-free and FUN Christmas for me and YOU.

Merry Christmas x x

Monday, 3 December 2012

Diseasey Street

This past week I've been a physical and emotional write off. I've had (and still have) a horrendous flu-chest-throat-head-bug-thingy (to give it it's proper medical name) that I'm struggling to shift.
This may sound like a mere inconvenience when you consider I have an incurable disease, but that's exactly my problem; I already have Crohn's, why do I have to put up with this nonsense too?!
Obviously as Crohnies, we are far from exempt from other health issues, in fact the opposite, we grab any bacteria and germs flying around and clutch them to our bosoms like selfish lovers who won't let go. It's our crappy (pun intended) immune systems that cause our bodies to go temporarily insane and collect as many other problems as we can like some kind of macabre hobby.
Plus, having the disease also means it can take a ridiculously long time to shake these things off. Talk about mixed signals, body.
So this week I've lost my voice, had a perma-headache, had streaming eyes, running nose, blocked nose, felt faint, legs like lead, zero energy, zero appetite, sweats and shivers, and a cough to wake the dead, amongst others. Lovely.
Now I know this is all natural during the first flush of Winter. My problem is that I can't just get over this type of thing like a 'normal' person. I have to deal with this AND Crohn's. if anything that makes it even more annoying in my eyes; why can't I deal with this when I'm coping with Crohn's everyday? I get frustrated at my own body for being so bloody useless.
Now my partner takes a different view on this. He thinks it's kind of romantic to him in a way that I'm ONLY dealing with this and not Crohn's for a change. He thinks it's cool that he sees me with a cold like 'normal' people (there's that word again) and not doubled up with Crohn's pain. This is a nice way to look at it I reckon, and it has made me think about how much of a drama queen I possibly could become if left to my own miserable devices.
But right now, as I type this, my fingers dripping with sweat, barely able to lift my useless head, I can't help but resign myself to the knowledge that Crohn's has taken this round.