Sitting in the sun enjoying an ice cream has got me to feeling a bit guilty and pondering my prospective return to work. Although the normal recovery time after the type of operation I had is generally 4 months, i'm hoping to get back to normality after only 3.
Feeling a little bit terrified of starting work again, feel like I wont have a clue what i'm doing, everything will have changed while i've been gone and new bonds will have been made amongst my colleagues therefore leaving me sitting at my desk with only a cup of coffee and an empty inbox for company. All of which I know deep down is nonsense but it doesn't stop my female brain pushing all the worst-case scenarios to the forefront of my mind.
Another fear I have is mainly that I won't be able to simply slide back into my job and i'll have some kind of stress-induced flare up and have to be off work yet again. Very unlikely again, but the Crohn's is always going to be there and even after surgery another resection may still be necessary at any time within the first 5years after my op. But for now, while I am feeling healthy i'm going to try and make the most of it and avoid unnecessary stress.
Although that may be easier said than done, as it's in the time it's taken me to write this post it's started raining and i'm sunburnt. Rage.