I had a very vivid dream last night that I was back in hospital. It wasn't a nightmare, just a dream. Not entirely unpleasant, perhaps now because I associate hospitals with making me feel better. Now that I know what's wrong with me that is. A few years ago, pre-diagnosis, this was very much the opposite.
I think the dream spawned from the amount of Crohnies I've spoken to recently who are, or very recently have been, in hospital for Crohn's related issues.
Obviously I am only too aware there are often complications and problems caused by Crohn's that will and do require hospital time. But when it is happening to someone I know (as well as you can 'know' someone through social networking), it hits home. My colon aches at the sheer thought of it and my heart is heavy for them.
The bravery of my fellow Crohnie's never ceases to amaze me. So many people still don't understand the often horrific and gruesome symptoms we have to deal with, inside and outside our bodies. Surgery is incredibly common and complications more-so. This is not me trying to scare people into submission, just stating the facts. Trying to get across that Crohns isn't a 'tummy upset'. It's an incurable disease that can affect every part of the human body.
Although I myself have been relatively well since my operation last year, I still suffer often crippling symptoms and struggle to eat. This in itself is a pain, and can be incredibly frustrating, but I thank Bowie (God) that I'm nowhere near as ill as I was prior to my op. There are people of all ages going through what I went through right now and this makes me sad. They are struggling like I struggled.
The most common statistic about Crohn's patients post-op is that they will most likely need surgery again within 3-4 years of the first. This worries me a lot. Time flies, and the thought I'll have to go through that again is a depressing one. However some people can go a lifetime without ever having to slip into an ill-fitting hospital gown again. That's the option I'm aiming for. I look terrible in white.
I hope anyone who reads this and is suffering now can see the light at the end of their colon. It does get better, and when it does make the most of it. You may be diseased but your crumpled up insides are filled to bursting with awesomeness.
Yes I just said awesomeness. X