Sunday, 10 November 2013
I've had a rough few weeks. Thankfully not all entirely due to Crohn's; various other issues have recently begun to pile on top of one another until I'm seemingly fit to burst.
Of course it's a well-known fact that Stress and Crohn's are about as compatible as ice cream on toast, so it really goes without saying that the stress of the last few weeks hasn't exactly led to the healthiest I've been either.
I usually see myself as a pretty optimistic person. Especially where my disease is concerned. But lately it seems that no matter what I seem to do to attempt to drag myself out of the doldrums, I get yanked back in.
I've been experiencing all the tell-tale symptoms of a Crohn's flare; shivers and sweats, dehydration, mouth ulcers, loss of appetite and that old chestnut; abdominal pain, to name but a few.
The signs of active disease are there and unfortunately I'm at a bit of a loss physically and emotionally to fight them off at the minute. Of course I have been carrying on with life regardless and trying to put these symptoms to the back of my mind, but when they start to increase tenfold and all at once, it becomes more difficult to keep a lid on things.
I’m feeling more positive after having seen my consultant this week. He, and the nurse I see regularly are very easy to talk to and both know their stuff and me, inside out. (Quite literally.) The consultant will have me in for another MRI in a couple of weeks and then possibly bring my scope date forward from the New Year to late 2013. Not the best of news but certainly reassuring that the issues I’ve been having lately aren’t being ignored. I’m also very bad for making excuses for my symptoms, i.e. “I’ve been stressed lately so it’s probably just that” and swiftly brushing how I’ve been feeling under the carpet as if I’ve somehow brought it on myself. This time I just laid myself bare (not literally obviously; the last time I did that I got a restraining order), and left it to the experts to get all Sherlock Holmes’y on my bowels. The consultant said he can definitely feel a “mass” which could potentially be something to worry about or not – best case scenario it’s just inflammation due to stress which will dissipate when the stress does.
Whatever the outcome of all these forthcoming tests is that the bottom line, (pun always intended), is that I will deal with it. If I have to have another camera manoeuvred where God didn’t intend it to be; so be it. If I have to have another surgery and 4months worth of biscuits rammed down my gullet; BRING IT ON. People come through much worse. Just knowing I’m being well looked after and my worries are being investigated already helps ease my troubled mind.
Not sure why I’m telling you all this, suppose I still see this blog as a form of public diary. It somehow helps to air my diseased laundry in public. Plus if even one of you takes heed and sees the doctor yourself if you are worried about something that doesn’t seem right, then it’s worthwhile. Don’t be a martyr to your body like I was for so long, the only person your holding back is yourself.