Monday, 6 April 2015

'Creature of Habit' - #HAWMC

Today's Prompt - 'What good habits, (health or otherwise,) do you have? Do you have a routine that you follow every morning? Are there any bad habits you wish you could break?'

I have a daily routine; in so much as I get up at the same time every day in order to get to work on time. I leave myself enough to get showered, dressed and ready, to prepare my lunch and all the other mundane day to day things required. I stick to the same bus timetable and I have my dinner at roughly the same time at night after work is over. But other than it being a routine out of necessity, it’s not a planned and regulated routine. 

I think sometimes I’d maybe like to have one of those, or at least to be able to find the energy to make things a little more regimented, but I also like to live my life day to day. Having IBD takes away so much of the control from you that it’s vital you relish every opportunity to grasp some of that back for yourself. 

So when I'm able I make plans. 

I try not to make those plans too far in advance, as I tend to feel it’s detrimental to my mood if I can’t follow through on arrangements. It’s a big shift from the days when I could fill up my social diary months in advance; now I'm lucky to be able to plan each day of the week. If I manage to achieve all my goals it’s a great feeling of victory. I've realised it’s not a massive negative to have relinquished some of the control to Crohn’s Disease. It’s an unfortunate necessity and one which has to happen every now and then in order to feel at my best. 

In terms of habits I wish I could break, I suppose metaphorically beating myself up when I can’t do certain things, would be top of the list there. I'm learning it’s OK not to do as much as I used to, and find happiness and pleasure in things which require a little less of me. I try to break the habit of punishing myself and apologising to others for my disease on a daily basis. I'm not entirely sure it’s a routine I’ll ever get out of, but it’s one I could do without. I try to routinely praise myself for what I can do, and stop hating on myself for what my disease ensures I can’t. 

This post was written as part of WEGO Health's Activist Writers Monthly Challenge - #HAWMC 

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