Write On, Write Aff

Here in Scotland a common phrase one may use when they are perhaps hungover, ill, or just generally looking an absolute mess, would be; “Whit a total write aff” 

[translation: ‘What a complete write off’: not currently fit for purpose]

In living with chronic illness you will find yourself feeling and looking like a ‘write aff’ more often than most. I've had a good few 'write-off' days recently. Those days where you find, thanks to illness, all your plans are out the window whether you like it or not. You are floored. Work is a mammoth undertaking; in fact much more than turning over in bed is nigh on impossible. Plans made are cancelled, friends and family are let-down and housework builds up around you faster than cat hair on a silk blouse. (Speaking from experience there obvs).

On my recent series of write-off days, I missed a day of work and spent around 3 full days in bed. Today though…I got out of bed! And even showered! I'll wait for the applause to die down then I'll continue. 

Celebrating small victories is a common aside in living with chronic illness. It may not seem much to praise ourselves for, but it’s important, as we spend so much of our time internally beating ourselves up for what we are missing out on or unable to do for ourselves and others. It’s incredibly frustrating being ill. So, SO many wasted hours. The guilt at missed work, the annoyance at letting those you love down, and the pain and misery experienced when riding the wave of debilitating symptoms.

What I've come to realise though, is that self-care is very important. No, I'm certainly not saying that knowing how vital it is to look after number 1 makes the guilt of missed work or cancelled plans any easier, because it doesn't. Mores the pity. However it’s the sensible thing to do. Always the most boring I know. 

The more in tune you become with your own body the more you know when something is wrong, and the more you know when it’s time to take a step back and let yourself rest. If you manage a little work, or complete a menial task then well done. Just don’t break yourself in two trying if you don’t have  to. 

Learning to take the time you need to recuperate will always be more important than doing the dishes or hoovering the carpet. Besides I've been "unable" to lift the hoover since my last operation, and I intend to ride that particular wave for at least another 12 months. As far as my other half is concerned, hoovering is a ‘write-aff’ ;)