Wednesday, 19 July 2017

My Kind of People


Chronic illness is used as such a ‘catch all’ phrase these days. It covers a myriad of illnesses, diseases and disabilities. But then couldn’t all of those words be used in the same vein? Don’t all chronic illnesses ‘disable’ us in one way or another? Make us feel ‘diseased’? 
Chronic, as it relates to illness, is defined as ‘persisting for a long time or constantly recurring’. Its meaning is clearly definable but the number and variety of conditions it covers is certainly not finite.
Health, and especially frequently poor health, naturally hits highs and lows. Sometimes those lows last for what can seem like the longest time and you struggle to see an end to them. This can be hard enough to deal with on your own, but factor in having to communicate your health issues to the outside world and you’re faced with a whole new set of complications to deal with.  Explaining the intricacies of a condition to an outsider can often be intimidating and challenging to say the least; particularly if you are new to it yourself and still learning. When we do discuss our condition with others and don’t get the response or reaction we perhaps expect, it can be quite the setback. Often living with a chronic illness can feel humiliating. It can be embarrassing, distressing and complex. Often we don’t want to talk about our condition, which is wholly our right, of course, yet sometimes our symptoms make that privilege all but impossible. If it is a visible condition it allows for comment, and that’s something we sadly can’t control.
So pulling on at that thread of uninvited comment, a certain infuriating phrase that sticks in my head, and has been said to me upwards of 168798782784240 times, (at last count anyway) is:
 “There always seems to be something wrong with you…”
This is generally said as an off the cuff, (perhaps feeble attempt at humour?) with a snide undertone. It’s often spoken with a question mark at the end of it; as though we are somehow expected to answer to it. It’s not really deserving of a question mark in my humble opinion as it’s more of a statement of fact. I’m not sure what the relevance of such a question is either, other than to remind us that we are ill, ALL THE TIME. Sadly something we are all too aware of already.  The only answer that could be given to such a bizarre poser (and I find it most effective bellowed through a megaphone) is “YES, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME: IT’S INCURABLE”. But that response only served to get me thrown out of the library and banned from the local church the last 5 times I used it.
It is phrases such as these that are upsetting to someone with a disability and/or illness for many, MANY, reasons. Let me count the ways. (7. There are 7 ways).
1.  It implies we are being untruthful about our health problems. If you have to query in a suspicious tone that expects us to answer for an incurable condition then you nail your ‘I DON’T BELIEVE YOU’ colours firmly to the mast. This funnily enough doesn’t make for a comfortable conversation to follow.
2.  It makes us feel like a nuisance. No person who even remotely cares for another person should make them feel this way. Implying we are using our condition for attention or exploiting it for our own gain is just mean at the root of it.
3.  It singles us out. We don’t want to be sick, and we certainly don’t want to be treated any differently to a ‘normal’ person. Suggesting we are seeking some end goal other than the best
possible health makes us retreat into our shells and that can be increasingly risky for those of us with already wavering mental health.
4.  It makes us feel we are appearing like a hypochondriac. Anyone with a chronic illness dislikes hypochondriacs intensely. We have to eat, sleep and think about illness every day; we don’t need to hear you give us chapter and verse on that one time in 1983 when you had the measles. Just because you perhaps aren’t used to hearing people talk honestly about an incurable condition doesn’t make it any less true when we do.
5.  It silences us from talking about our illness. This is NOT good. We need to talk about our conditions because it allows us to educate, share, unload and learn. The more we remain silent on what we are experiencing the more withdrawn we become and the more ashamed we feel.
6.  It makes us feel embarrassed and ashamed. As above: not good. Something we should never allow ourselves to feel. Chronic conditions can get such bad press; we need to be at the forefront of changing that, not being beaten down by uninformed opinions.
7.  It reminds us that THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING WRONG WITH US. Yes, we KNOW.
On the flip side of this ghastly and mildly insensitive coin however, when met with thoughtlessness of this degree, I often try to mentally counter these statements with any positives I can find in them. Easier said than done, especially when you are still clutching a knife to their throat, but if you take a mental (and maybe physical) step back, and look hard enough you are bound to find something.  Let’s throw the negativity over the balcony, crushing it painfully below, causing irrevocable damage, and try that now.
1. Yes there IS always something wrong with me yet I’m still here, being alive alongside you, making me better than you in so, so many ways, and that’s excluding my impressive rack. 
2.  No, nope, sorry I think that’s all I can come up with. Maybe I’m just not a very
forgiving person.
The issue with phrases like the aforementioned “There always seems to be something wrong with you…” is that, whether intended that way or not, they are simply unkind and just so unnecessary. As I’m not (at time of writing) practiced in mind control, I can’t stop people thinking things like that of course, but I can certainly voice my discomfort when they allow the words to leave their lips. Meaning if you’re going to openly say something along those lines to someone with a chronic illness then you should really be prepared for the potentially messy fallout.
What may seem an entirely innocent comment on our condition to you may come across as a not-so-subtle jibe directed at us for reasons we’ll have to retreat into paranoia to discover. You see, it’s not ‘just a joke’ when you make another human being feel essentially lesser.
Kindness is so easy. It’s often found simply in inaction. It’s effortless! You can be kind by just not saying that thing you know would be taken badly should the person it’s aimed at hear you. Just don’t say it! It’s that simple! You can be kind by taking a moment, just one precious moment, to consider the outcome
of your words. If you have an inkling that what you are about to say to another
human being may be mean or insulting then just don’t say it. NO, you won’t
receive an award for it, but you also won’t receive a black eye, so swings and
roundabouts. Think bad thoughts by all means; we ALL do that. It’s one of the silent joys in life. But in much the same way you wouldn’t follow up saying “I’ll kill him” with then committing
ACTUAL MURDER, you can think we are lazy (for example), without actually
accusing us of being so. 
Maybe just consider this: Are you the type of person who deliberately sets out to upset and offend another human being whose only crime is not acting or looking the way you want or expect them to? If you answered yes to that then I hope you find what’s missing in your life someday. 
(See how easy it is to be kind instead of wishing you dead?)

18 comments:

  1. Replies
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  6. FAST AND URGENT MEANS TO ENLARGE YOUR PENIS WITH DR OBUE HERBAL PRODUCT WEBSITE  https://drobuesolutiontemp.wixsite.com/drobue whatsapp +2348030569449
    Hello everyone i want to testify of how Dr OBUE herbal mixture cream enlarged my penis size. i never thought i will be happy again in my life because of my small penis situation,i have struggling with this issue my life time and i could not find a professional result i wanted ,i ave went to hospitals,used vaccines,tried several herbs online ,penis pumps and all but none rendered me the solution i wanted ,i felt like killing when my fiance SIMONE left me after undressing myself in front of her,my size was too embarrassing and shameful imagine a 36 years old man like me having 3.5 inches penis size..the world seem to an end to me when we she left so one faithful day as i was watching a video on you tube i saw on the comments of one MR MAMARU ABIYE testifying of this great herbal healer Dr OBUE helped him enlarge his penis .i was shocked and happy so i quickly visited his website https://drobuesolutiontemp.wixsite.com/drobue and emailed him within 30 mins he got back to me and told me all i need to buy and i did so after 4 days i received his herbal medicine ,he gave me instructions on how to use it ,as i am speaking to you people now after using the cream for just two weeks my penis size is 11 inches long and 8.0 girth ,,am so happy and grateful for his work in my life thank you so much Dr OBUE ,,i also learnt he has cure for LOW SPERM COUNT,PREMATURE EJACULATION,ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION,HIV/AIDS VIRUS,DIABETES 1/2,HERPES DISEASE,CANCER,and lots more you can email him on drobuesolutiontemple@gmail.com website https://drobuesolutiontemp.wixsite.com/drobue or call/whatsapp him directly on +2348030569449 thanks  

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  7. hello everyone i am FRED CABANSAG from UAE but live in the united states of america   i want to tell the whole world of great  Dr Obue herbal mixture i was unhappy ever since my girlfriend back then in college mocked me of having a small penis and weak in bed ,ever since then i have been trying to improve my sex life but all effort failed ..but it gut worse when i got married ,my wife is so angry with me and Threatened to leave me if i do not find a way and i love my wife so much so one faithful day i was reading some comments on a blog then i saw a comment of one Mr Tom Sullivan new Orleans testifying of how Dr obue helped him enlarge his penis and fertilise his sperm count so i quickly contacted him by his website link https://drobuesolutiontemp.wixsite.com/drobue  and he got back to me and i did as he said ..to my greatest surprise i got 10 inches within two weeks of using his herbal medicine and now its just 3 weeks i am having 10.5 inches i am so happy now..my wife told me am so good in bed that i almost killed her last night all thanks to him note he also cure sicknesses and diseases like PENIS ENLARGEMENTERECTILE DYSFUNCTIONDIABETES type 1 and type 2HERPES GENITAL WARTLOW SPERM COUNTWEAK ERECTIONBREAST ENLARGEMENTPROSTRATE CANCERHIV/AIDSPREMATURE EJACULATION 
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  9. PERMANENT SOLUTION TO SEXUAL PROBLEMS WITH DR HARRY HERBAL MIXTURE CREAM  WEBSITE https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple  WHATSAPP +2349036417079 hello everyone  i have been worried for so many years now because i was  trying to figure out how to cure my (erectile dysfunction) and enlarge my SMALL penis but could not find a way out of it ,,my wife has told me if i do not get a cure on time that she will leave me and i love her and my marriage so much .i have used VACCINES,DRUGS,INJECTION AND even did Surgeries just to be happy but none really rendered me  the help i needed and i almost gave up when i Used a herbal medicine from a fake bullshit doctor from Malawi .i almost lost my life during that period so i gave up and accepted my fate because my wife already requested for a divorce paper s ,,but on one faithful morning i was reading through a comment on Facebook of one MR phillip montenero  from Germany of how DR HARRY  HERBAL  CREAM and LIQUID  enlarge his penis and cure his younger Brother of  STROKE DISEASE within the space of 3 weeks wow i was surprised to see it so i quickly visited his website link  https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple  behold i saw lots of solution to my problems there so i emailed him and he got back to me and gave me some  comfortable words ,and the next day he told what needed to be done and i did it so he sent me his MIRACULOUS HERBAL CREAM AND LIQUID through UPS delivery service and i got it 4 days after ..i then followed his prescriptions on how to use it and OH MY GOD it is just two weeks of using his herbal cream i now have 10 inches when erected and 8 inches when flaccid my wife love it  so much now after i had sex with her with my MONSTER PENIS ..and also apologize for asking for a divorce .i am so happy i now feel like a real man ,,thank you so much for taken away this shame from me DR HARRY  so if you need any kind of cure visit his website link https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple    email him on drharrysolution@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2349036417079 THANKS   

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hello viewers around the Globe, I was despondent because i had a very small penis, about 2.5 inches soft and 4 inches hard not nice enough to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr, OLHIA and i decided to contact him on his website i saw on the internethttp://olihawonderfulherbs.webs.com/ so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 3 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my Ex girlfriend Ella, i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a large penis. Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLIHA I also learn that Dr OLIHA also help with Breast Enlargement Hips and Bums Enlargement etc.. If you are in any situation with a little Penis, weak ejaculation, small breast_hips_bums do get to Dr OLIHA now for help on his email {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} or whats app him number: +2349038382931

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  11. It my privilege to say thanks to Dr.Imoudu for his herbal product he provide for me and today my sexual life is healthy and balance am living up to my wife expectation. For the past 11 years i have been struggling with my penis issue I have a very small penis like 2.6 inc. I have spent a lot of money on it but no product work for me, until i took this product from Dr.Imoudu just within few weeks i got 8.5 inches penis size, if your penis is 4.2 cm and want to get it reach 10.3 inches or more you can contact Dr.Imoudu for his products on his email: DR.IMOUDUHEALERTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. And you can also WhatsApp +2348109609753. so if you have any problem
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  12. Hello everyone i Am Ben Mark and i am from USA i am here to give my
    testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,Akioya I was heartbroken because
    i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many
    relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many
    product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i
    searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist
    called Dr,Akioya and decided to email him on his email i saw on the
    internet,(drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal
    product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some
    comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within
    three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it
    just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i
    had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she
    said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a
    large penis.thanks to DR Akioya for is herbal product. you can also reach
    him with emsil drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him
    today on this number [ +2348105257464 ] you can checkout  is website;
    http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello everyone i Am Ben Mark and i am from USA i am here to give my
      testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,Akioya I was heartbroken because
      i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many
      relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many
      product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i
      searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist
      called Dr,Akioya and decided to email him on his email i saw on the
      internet,(drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal
      product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some
      comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within
      three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it
      just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i
      had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she
      said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a
      large penis.thanks to DR Akioya for is herbal product. you can also reach
      him with emsil drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him
      today on this number [ +2348105257464 ] you can checkout  is website;
      http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
      https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

      Delete
  13. Hello everyone i Am Ben Mark and i am from USA i am here to give my
    testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,Akioya I was heartbroken because
    i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many
    relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many
    product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i
    searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist
    called Dr,Akioya and decided to email him on his email i saw on the
    internet,(drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal
    product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some
    comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within
    three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it
    just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i
    had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she
    said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a
    large penis.thanks to DR Akioya for is herbal product. you can also reach
    him with emsil drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him
    today on this number [ +2348105257464 ] you can checkout  is website;
    http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was reading your article and wondered if you had considered creating an ebook on this subject. Your writing would sell it fast. You have a lot of writing talent.
    chronic illness

    ReplyDelete