Wednesday, 2 November 2011

My TV Show - You Got Crohned!

This post requires me to come up with a TV show based around my blog. As my blog is purely about me and my adventures with Crohn's, my idea for a tv show would be based around the initial diagnosis of Crohns Disease and would be crudely titled "You got Crohned!"
The game show would be handily set in a hospital and would consist of a series of tests being carried out to establish a diagnosis of Crohn's disease (or not as the case may be).
In my personal experience, and of many other Crohn's patients I've conversed with, reaching a diagnosis of the disease is normally a very long and arduous process. Can be incredibly distressing and stressful, and usually requires many visits to and from doctors and hospitals before finally reaching a conclusion. Then the fun can really start when your treatment begins.. This way we cut short the waiting and worrying and skip straight to the diagnosis.
My idea consists of a hospital, a patient suffering with possible Crohn's symptoms and a team of medical professionals on hand.
The show will begin with a brief introduction to our patient (contestant), including a potted medical history.
We then begin a series of tests required to rule out any other possible illnesses - the patient will be whizzed through MRI scans, CT scans, given blood tests, a colonoscopy and anything else required to reach a satisfactory conclusion. Of course I'm not a monster, these tests will be spread over 2-3 days, endurance is the key, if you can't take the poking and prodding get out of the hospital!
The cameras will follow the contestant everywhere and the more x-rated scenes will of course be edited for a younger audience. (We want this to be enjoyed by the whole family!)
When an eventual diagnosis is reached the camera will zoom in on the contestants face to capture their reaction as he/she hears his/her fate. A magical moment. See the ratings soar!
When the contestant has been advised it is indeed Crohn's they will be handed their prizes, am immediate consultation with a doctor who will discuss best form of treatment and a Crohnie-goodie-bag. This will include wet wipes, a years supply of toilet roll, Vaseline, painkillers, a variety of soups, milkshakes, and of course not forgetting the star prize, a gold plated self-cleaning toilet!
The episode, having been already edited into a manageable half hour, will see the credits roll over images of said contestant being wheeled to the hospital car park to make his/her journey home to the cheers of an adoring crowd.
I know, I'm an absolute genius. Perfect.
Any television production companies feel free to contact me anytime, I'll be awaiting the call!

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days:


  1. Brilliant!!!!! I'd be an avid viewer! :-)

  2. What's not to love about that!!! I especially like the star prize..... xx

  3. Kathleen Nicholls9 November 2011 at 11:53

    Two potential viewers already! So proud of myself right now ;)