It’s time for one of those 'end of
year' posts we bloggers love to write (and you dread to read)!
And what a year it's been.
HORRIFIC.
I won’t even begin to go into the changes we’ve undergone with Brexit here and Trump
over there, because I don’t want to projectile vomit all over the screen.
We've played a seemingly endless game
of 'Who's Dead Today?' this year with almost everyone in the public-eye quaking
in their boots at the mere sniff of a cough that they'll be 'next'. Of course
for me the hardest of these 'celebrity' deaths was my beloved David Bowie. I genuinely
sobbed when the news hit and felt the same grief I would for a loved one. It
seemed so utterly confusing that I would mourn someone I've never met, but the
depth of feeling I had for his music (and the shock of his unexpected death
through illness) hit me more than I could have expected. I suppose with a
sudden and unanticipated death such as his, it hit a lot of his fans in a
similarly painful way. So many other deaths followed, that this year switching
on the breakfast news each morning seemed like opening the world’s
most
depressing advent calendar.
The next big setback in my year came
when our beloved cat passed away. We knew he was poorly and would in time be
heading to that giant Cat Scratcher in the sky, but his death was very sudden
and still came as a big and heart-breaking shock. Our beautiful boy was so
special and such an intrinsic part of our little family that his loss is still
felt around the house. The loss of a pet can be surprisingly heart-breaking:
when they are such a huge part of the family it takes a while to adjust to him
not being home.
But for me certainly 2016 has not
been all bad. And really as we know, it’s
all about ME.
This year saw me quit my job of over
10 years to take on a new challenge closer to home and allow me more time for
writing and working on book 2! Scary but incredibly exhilarating, and definitely
the right decision.
This leads us on neatly to the next
big emotional event in my 2016: The publication of my first book! GO YOUR CROHN WAY
came out in May and was a whirlwind of anxiety and joy. It was a surprisingly emotional
time for me for many reasons; because it was a reassurance I wasn't a terrible
writer, because it was coming from a place where I could hopefully help others
in a wider way, and because it was a painful part of my life being transformed
into something positive. We had a wonderful book launch (The Crohn Way Soiree) which was one of the best night's of my life. Excluding that time a taxi appeared just as the heel on my stiletto broke. I've had such good feedback from patients and their
families alike that's it's made my heart swell. It’s been well received so
far, I’ve been on radio, in papers and a local MP has even put forward a motion
to have it mentioned in Scottish Parliament! This is about the only level of
fame I could tolerate without exploding into a ball of anxiety and feeling the
need to wear makeup everyday/brush my mane so I’m pretty happy with that :)
I’m currently working on book two and
it all seems pretty exciting and that I’ve found where I want to be in life which
is incredibly comforting.
The year ended for me on a pretty low
note as I’ve been advised my treatment is no longer effective and my body is
fighting against it (again). So back to the diseased drawing board. I spent
most of the lead up to Christmas in hospital and it was extremely disheartening,
just the idea of being properly ‘sick’ again. Tests and procedures and hospital
food; none of us want it. But I was lucky enough to get home for Christmas. Now
just awaiting more of the same, scopes and tests until we know what may work
for me where others haven’t. I’m trying my best to think positive about this as
I know I’ll get there, just stuck in limbo at the minute.
2017 will hopefully be healthier for
us all.
For me, this year despite many, MANY
setbacks, I have achieved something I never thought I would, I’ve made a brave decision
or two, I’m in love and loved and HAPPY. Good health will follow, and if not, I’ve
got all the love I need to help me through it.
Your support, however small or large this
year has meant the world to me!
I love you!
Happy New Year everyone! xox
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