OK now that I've got your attention, I'd like to take a few
minutes to talk to you about these so called 'click-bait' articles with
eye-catching and inevitably misleading titles (of which the above is); and in
particular how they can negatively impact on our health.
Now as you may have established by this point, the chances
of you seeing me ‘TOTALLY NAKED’ and
in a ‘SEX TAPE!!!’ are slim to none. I’m
sorry to be the bearer of bad news so early in the blog but you’re the one who
clicked, so more fool you! Besides, who even uses the word 'tape' anymore? Get
with the program losers! What is this, 1992?!
Anyway, regardless of whether you clicked this link because there
was a vain hope of seeing my melons, or because you were just intrigued as to
whether I’d finally lost my mind; now that we are all here, let’s get to the
matter in hand. Despite the fact that this title is undoubtedly false and deceptive
it did its job in getting you to click on the preceding link, maybe to even to
hang around and read the whole article. So in that sense it has been an effective
tool. Effective yes, yet undoubtedly frustrating too, (in particular for those
of you still vainly holding out for a peep at my wares).
NOT HAPPENING PLEASE MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES.
But while we can all laugh at the absurdity of this
particular title, what of those articles with similarly attention grabbing titles,
aimed for the most part at the more vulnerable and desperate among us? Those of
us who are perhaps crying out for a 'solution', whatever it may be. Well, here
we find my pet hate: the ‘health’ click-bait. In case any of you are still in
the dark about what I mean by ‘click-bait’ please see this definition:
“(on the Internet)
content whose main purpose is to attract attention and encourage visitors to
click on a link to a particular web page”
These are those articles that draw us sickly individuals in
with promised 'cures' and quick fixes, advice on someone’s ‘miracle cure’ or
how someone else ‘cured themselves with tree bark’ or some other such nonsense.
Once clicked on, these articles (usually a mere few barely decipherable
sentences) inevitably lead us down the rabbit hole of terrible advertising and
ineligible text, over-priced products and bad advertising. Maybe they will follow
on where the article left off and attempt to sell us a product that promises to
cure all of our ails. The one certainty is that they are definite time-wasters.
They offer inane hope to those of us who perhaps have none, they lie and explain
our conditions in a vague and unintelligible way, they grope in the dark for
anything they can grab on to in order to gain an audiences favour. Just like
your Mum.
In my humble opinion, any article that struggles of
CORRECTLY SPELL the name of the condition it writes about, promises a ‘cure’ it
can never prove, admonishes patients for a perceived lack of effort, undermines
our suffering, or simply insults us in a roundabout way, is GARBAGE.
So my own advice would be to avoid these headlines and their
preceding hogwash ‘journalism’ unless they come from a reputable source (or a
QUALIFIED DOCTOR). And if you find yourself drawn in by an article promising
you the world where your health is concerned (yes EVEN if it contains the
promise of a bare naked chest), pull out immediately. As the Actress said to
the Bishop.
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