OK now that I've got your attention, I'd like to take a few minutes to talk to you about these so called 'click-bait' articles with eye-catching and inevitably misleading titles (of which the above is); and in particular how they can negatively impact on our health.
Now as you may have established by this point, the chances of you seeing me ‘TOTALLY NAKED’ and in a ‘SEX TAPE!!!’ are slim to none. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news so early in the blog but you’re the one who clicked, so more fool you! Besides, who even uses the word 'tape' anymore? Get with the program losers! What is this, 1992?!
Anyway, regardless of whether you clicked this link because there was a vain hope of seeing my melons, or because you were just intrigued as to whether I’d finally lost my mind; now that we are all here, let’s get to the matter in hand. Despite the fact that this title is undoubtedly false and deceptive it did its job in getting you to click on the preceding link, maybe to even to hang around and read the whole article. So in that sense it has been an effective tool. Effective yes, yet undoubtedly frustrating too, (in particular for those of you still vainly holding out for a peep at my wares).
NOT HAPPENING PLEASE MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES.
But while we can all laugh at the absurdity of this particular title, what of those articles with similarly attention grabbing titles, aimed for the most part at the more vulnerable and desperate among us? Those of us who are perhaps crying out for a 'solution', whatever it may be. Well, here we find my pet hate: the ‘health’ click-bait. In case any of you are still in the dark about what I mean by ‘click-bait’ please see this definition:
“(on the Internet) content whose main purpose is to attract attention and encourage visitors to click on a link to a particular web page”
These are those articles that draw us sickly individuals in with promised 'cures' and quick fixes, advice on someone’s ‘miracle cure’ or how someone else ‘cured themselves with tree bark’ or some other such nonsense. Once clicked on, these articles (usually a mere few barely decipherable sentences) inevitably lead us down the rabbit hole of terrible advertising and ineligible text, over-priced products and bad advertising. Maybe they will follow on where the article left off and attempt to sell us a product that promises to cure all of our ails. The one certainty is that they are definite time-wasters. They offer inane hope to those of us who perhaps have none, they lie and explain our conditions in a vague and unintelligible way, they grope in the dark for anything they can grab on to in order to gain an audiences favour. Just like your Mum.
In my humble opinion, any article that struggles of CORRECTLY SPELL the name of the condition it writes about, promises a ‘cure’ it can never prove, admonishes patients for a perceived lack of effort, undermines our suffering, or simply insults us in a roundabout way, is GARBAGE.
So my own advice would be to avoid these headlines and their preceding hogwash ‘journalism’ unless they come from a reputable source (or a QUALIFIED DOCTOR). And if you find yourself drawn in by an article promising you the world where your health is concerned (yes EVEN if it contains the promise of a bare naked chest), pull out immediately. As the Actress said to the Bishop.